FIRST!

Can somebody please explain the phenomenon of people submitting a comment to a new post AS FAST AS THEY CAN, just to be first on the list of commenters? And then they have nothing to say except, "Oh my god, am I really first?"

Why yes. Vapid. But yes, you are first.

Or worse, you're not first. You're sixth, because five other people ahead of you also saw that blank comments page and raced to get their "FIRST! Me me me!!!" comment in there ahead of you.

Today Dooce posted a picture of her cousin, and one woman responded "and oh my god…i can die a happy woman…I’m first!" And you know what number commenter she was? Fifth.

You don't see this in every blog, just in really popular ones, so I'm guessing the point is to get a link to your own blog in as early as possible. But really, who clicks those links? Is there anything in that kind of comment that suggests their own blog would be even remotely worth clicking on?

Don't know why I'm so irritable today.

On a related note, I have my period.

Comments

[jwer]

YESSSSS!!! First!!!

Also, it's because people are jackasses.

[bre]

I bet that commenter felt foolish when she realized she wasn't the first. I have to agree that comments on that blog are quite ridiculous. I wonder if those readers set up virtual camp on Dooce's site waiting for her to post a photo just so they can be first.

[ianqui]

Hah! That's so funny. I really go out of my way not to be the first because I don't want to look like I'm doing nothing other than reading blogs (which is true reasonably often...) So I try to wait until 3 or 4 people have posted before I do. Unless no one posts, and then I just go for it...

[Redpanda]

That's actually why I stopped even bothering to read comments on more popular blogs--they are so full of "FIRST!!!!" and "AWWW!" and the like that they made me want to first vomit, then find the posters and bop them in the head.

No period here, I'm just a bitch. ;)

[wolfangel]

I despise the comments at dooce. There are often good ones, if you can make it past 12 people saying "first!" and 20 more people discussing why it's silly and so on. But I can't.

[amanda]

OH MY GOD! I'M SIXTH!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Um. That's all. See you tonight? :)

[eebmore]

OMG! The other day I was about to post this very entry. After I read the first sentence, I knew you were talking about doose. No disrespect towards her sight or the photographs, which often are quite good, but she could post a pick of a brick wall and get 300 comments in less than an hour.

[Johnny the Horse]

I had never given the issue a scrap of thought. But now I think I'll just have my postal address come up in the comments box so people have to hand write amd mail me their comments. I envisage people worldwide bursting into post offices and paying first class fees to get them to me before anyone else. Oh, hang on. You said popular blogs. Damn.

[dabrettman]

I would totally mock and ridicule anyone who did that on my blog. Of course, I don't have many readers, so it's not something I'm likely to have to do any time soon. I feel a little sad now.

P.S. Dooce sucks ass.

[MB]

Ditto all of above. Personally I like the site, but can't stand the fans.

Hope y'all had fun at happy hour -- one of these days I'm actually going to start attending again. I'll probably have a critter in tow, but I hear they love that at the bars.

[Super G]

LAST!!!

[Barbara]

No, I'M LAST! (evil grin)

Uh-oh, this could go on forever, like bidding at an auction. Perhaps it's better if people compete for first. I'll concede last place.

Yes, it is rather vapid, and a sign of people perhaps taking it a little too seriously? :)

[Mal Snay]

THIRTEENTH!

I am so the BOMB of the ... oh, wait. Dammit. Barbara, wanna switch numbers?

[Lee]

Looks like I'm a bit slow on this first business...

[Dooce Reader]

I'm a long-time regular Dooce Reader, but avoid comments nowadays mainly because people waste so much energy being mean to one another (and taking things personally and retaliating).

I saw this post in December in Dooce comments and wanted to share it - as an alternate view of things.

Peace.
_________

Sheryl said at 03:10PM, 12.13.2004:
I almost posted first the other day but stopped because I didn’t want to be first or be involved in any talk about being first. Those posts used to annoy me, then I was just in wonder about the why, why WHY? of it.

I have to say though, that morning, realizing (when the form suddenly said that commenting was no longer available on that picture) others were furiously posting made me realize something. It’s not totally about trying to stand out and be competitive. It’s about the suspense of waiting for a moment to happen - over which you have no control, but which you know will happen.

It must be like being in a particular place at a particular time and waiting for a recurring rainbow or something. Like being the first kid in the town to see the Pony Express riding up. Like being the person on the shore seeing the cargo ship come into the bay.

Like a Twilight Zone episode, having a hand touch you from another universe, you know that hand is coming to touch you, but you don’t knwo exactly when…a familiar magical hand bearing pictures and typing amusing messages - sent from the void.

I still don’t want to post first, but I think I get it. “There are always several sides to every story.”

Now I am wondering why people complain about what other people post…

[Lost My Shaker]

I personally like Dooce.com. But I TOTALLY agree about the weirdos who stalk it. I will admit, I'm hitting refresh throughout the day. But I DON'T post 85 comments in a day. Give me a break. If you want to do that, go to a freakin' chat room and leave emoticons all over the place, with my blessings.
This seems like it could be a cool page, though. I'm not from baltimore, but I like to read other people's blogs.

[Robert Bender]

"dooce" is the Oprah effect on the internet. It is written by a medicated, insecure haus frau who gives the impression of being very egocentric when she really is insecure and narcissistic. Oprah is also very popular, with fat housewives who stay home all day. Kudos to her, but people only appear on her show when they want to sell to her demographic. Dooce is the lowest common denominator, in addition to being really unattractive. I am sure she wasn't paid very well as a "web designer" and was likely fired for incompetence rather than her inane blog. I concur, reading the pap on her pages is like a dental appointment for a root canal, only worse. I had more fun getting my vasectomy.

[Malnurtured Snay]

EIGHTEENTH!!! SCORE!!!!