I am irritable when things don't work and I don't know how to fix them. Like how I can't open PDFs. I've uninstalled and reinstalled Adobe Acrobat but it still won't work. Our departmental IT guy couldn't figure out it either, and his solution was to set up a second account on this computer because if I'm logged in as a different user it all works fine. So I could just start using that account, but I am so sick of switching computers (I am using the lab computer right now) and having to start all over with customizing things like macros and taskbar shortcuts and things, so I am resisting switching my login. (Yes, I could import my desktop settings to the new user account, but I don't know what the problem is with loading up PDFs and I worry that I will be transferring that problem to the new account.) So every time I want to look at a PDF I have to close the thousand windows I have open, log out, log back in as the other user (for some reason, I don't have the option to "switch user"), look at the PDF, and then hopefully remember everything I need to from the document since I don't want to waste paper and ink printing out every PDF here at home. This is quite a pain.
I'm also annoyed, in a sense, because I can't post anything to my photoblog. Something is messed up with the permissions. As in, I don't have permission to post anything. :( But I have free hosting, so I'm trying to be patient. And anyway, it's not like I have people banging down my proverbial door, waiting for my next upload.
I am also anxious about meeting with these professors about writing this grant, not because I'm worried about the meeting itself, but because I don't know when it's happening. One of them emailed me to say that we should meet soon, and he suggested this Monday (yes, that's today). I wrote back to say that would be great, and I've been waiting to hear back from him to confirm and set a time, but he hasn't responded. I assume it's because there are two of them who need to coordinate and one of them was out of town for a conference at the end of last week. So I don't think anything's wrong. I'm just feeling on edge because I don't know when this meeting will take place.
Fortunately, it does give me more time to work out my ideas for what should go in this grant proposal. I've been doing lots of research and finding articles that I really should have known about with results on the very things I might otherwise have proposed studying myself. (Some of these are more recent articles that weren't published when I looked up this stuff a while ago.) Anyway, boring stuff to all of you, I'm sure. But I'm really looking forward to writing this proposal. This is exactly what I love about academia, that you get paid to study exactly what fascinates you. (Well, obviously, it depends on whether or not you get the funding, but still, it's the general idea.)
In the meantime, there's a job that I probably should apply for... I'm quite sure my advisor will tell me not to since she doesn't even want me to spend the time writing this grant proposal right now. The application deadline is about a month away. And to be honest, I think it's highly unlikely I would get the job. So it would be time spent doing it for the experience of applying, and the slim possibility of an interview, and the even slimmer and remoter possibility of getting the job, all when I'm trying to finish my dissertation, write a paper to submit to a journal, and write a grant application for a job next year. What to do...
I know I've described myself as irritable, annoyed, and anxious today, and yes, there's some of that, but I'm actually not feeling as wound up as I sound. I'm feeling sort of motivated and hopeful about stuff, as evidenced by the fact that I am even able to write about it here. (It's when I don't write about things here that you know I'm worked up about them.)
I would like to get out of the house though. Unfortunately, I can't think of a good place to go. There's my windowless office at school, where I would sit alone surrounded by a very messy desk that would call out to me to clean it. There are various coffee shops in my neighborhood, but I've just had a cup of coffee and I don't really want to purchase anything for the privilege of sitting somewhere. There's the library, but I'm not sure they'd let me in. (My status at the university this semester is non-resident, which means I don't actually have access to the physical library, just the online one.) Again, what to do... :)
Maybe I'll just stop thinking about it and get back to work here at my lovely desk at home. Perhaps one of the kitties will jump up on my lap and I'll be reminded why it's nice to work from home.