LooKinG FoR DrEss AdVicE

I'm looking for some advice on wedding dresses. I'd love to wear something non-traditional (i.e., not big, white, and fluffy), but it's hard to make it still look like it's a wedding dress if it's not white. I think.

Basically my criteria is that it should be relatively inexpensive, not boring, and yet still classic in some way. Whatever that means.

For example, I think that this is horrid.

But I like this and this. That is, for a straight-up classic wedding gown.

I've looked at bridesmaids dresses, but they kind of look like, well, bridesmaids dresses. Especially when they're not white. Sometimes they do make them in white or ivory or something, but they never have that color available in the shops to try on since no one is going to order a bunch of white bridesmaids dresses. So I'd have to try something on in bright emerald green and then close my eyes and imagine it in ivory. Somehow that never works.

Alternatively, I think that this (or something like it) is pretty cool, but I think it might be weird to wear it, what with me not being Chinese. Maybe it's better in white? Hm... I like that. And it's only $90, which truly warms my frugal heart.

So if you have any thoughts or suggestions please share! And if you have any recommendations for local shops, even better!

Comments

[eliaday]

i think you could definitely get away with the white chinese dress... BUT white is traditionally a color of mourning. i don't know if you want that or not.

when one of my friends got married, she had a white dress with the embroidery in purple instead of the typical white kind of stuff. i thought it was really pretty - a little different, but still a classic kind of dress.

joyce's dress

you should also check out jessica mcclintock (i don't know if there's a store near you) - that's where i got the dress for our banquet - they seem to have everything in several different colors. and, definitely not $1800.

[Double Dogged]

Ok,Ok, I'm a guy and what do I know! Since you are asking for help maybe I can be of service. My wife and I owned a full service Bridal Shop for over 12 years. Though I had some input in it, my wife was the owner and Head Honcho. If you are going to be at the Happy Hour tomorrow night I will talk to you about it. We could probably help you and answer your questions. She does know the ins and outs of the Bridal Industry.

[citizenjane]

I'm neither married or pre-marital, but I hear this is a good place to start with your "nontrad" research.

http://www.indiebride.com/

[Consuela]

You, missee, will look fabulous in anything - so for starters, don't let any salespeople tell you that certain things flatter you and certain (less expensive) things don't. The Chinese dress is beautiful, and so *you*! Unless the "color of mourning" thing will bother you.
As a many-times bridesmaid, let me just tell you that they are never going to wear their dresses again, no matter how non-bridesmaidy they are. So don't let that confine your search :)

I am so excited for you!!!

[Jennifer P]

Hey, this is Jenny in FL. Oddly enough, after reading this post, I came across this website - Organic Weddings. There are some basic dress ideas there, though the dresses are a bit pricey. It did spawn an idea...anyone know how much a seamstress would be? Fabric stores often have pretty nice patterns if you know someone who can make clothing.

You could also get a basic kimono, or any of a million variations on the cheongsam. And I always liked the idea of a red wedding dress, along the lines of Asian wedding traditions...I just never liked how I photographed in most red shades. Really, you're the bride...wear whatever color you like best, or even go crazy Asian, and have a couple of different dresses :-)

Oh, and just to argue a point - my maid of honor still wears her dress from my wedding. I told her the color I wanted, and she picked something nice out from regular dresses...she works for a big company as a CPA, so she wears it to company parties (as was planned from the beginning).

[zenchick]

this is probably the least helpful comment anyway...but I think you should wear whatever you like, whatever you feel comfortable and beautiful in. (I love the white Chinese one)

[seadragon]

I knew I should have posted this long ago. Thanks everyone for the suggestions. Especially, thanks to everyone who provided links to sites I hadn't heard of before. It's very helpful!

Eliaday - Hm, that thing about white being a mourning color makes me think twice. But I won't rule it out yet. After all, white certainly doesn't mean that here. I like what your friend Joyce did by adding some color. I might have to look around a bit more.

Jenny - I have thought about a seamstress, but haven't quite known where to look. It's not like I already know of a good seamstress, and I also don't have a design in mind. However, my cousin had a really cool shimmery dark burgundy dress made for her by someone who specializes in unusual gowns and he had a lot of designs set for her to choose from. Of course, he is in Belgium, so I'd have to find something similar here. But I will definitely look into it. I might be running out of time!

As for wearing a kimono, well, I think that is a little too far outside the bounds of what I want to wear. I can't really explain why...

And as for bridesmaids dress, yes, I know they are not all horrible. A good friend of mine wore a white bridesmaids dress as a wedding dress and looked amazing. My worry is just about ordering one that I've only seen in green or mauve or something. :)

I am not even sure I will have bridesmaids, but I still haven't figured that out. It seems that everytime I ask someone to be in the wedding, they leave the country! Or I end up hiring them as my photographers... So I'm going to have to think of creative ways to involve people. Fortunately for them, that will mean that they won't be required to buy anything they didn't choose themselves.

Double Dogged - Yes, I will probably be making an appearance at the happy hour, so let's talk then!

And Zenchick - That's not at all unhelpful. In fact, one of my reasons for this post was that I was wondering about was whether the Chinese dress looked cool to me but weird to everyone else!

[ianqui]

OK, let me remember where I bought my dress. It was in Towson, called M'Jourdelle (617 York Rd). They were quite a bit cheaper than most other stores, but still traditional, if you decide you want that. Still my dress only cost $500, which is still too expensive, but not horrifying, right? DO NOT go to those wearhous-y, or cheap bridal shops in B'more (like this one on the way to Bayview Medical Ctr, I can't remember its name). They're depressing, and totally trashy.

[anonymouscoworker]

Your best bet would be to stay the hell away from David's Bridal. And for that matter, any store that has "Bride" or "wedding" or "marriage" or any variation thereof in the name. We're going the traditional route, so we've seen what little there is to offer in all those stores. That's all the advice I have.

[Double Dogged]

ACW hit it right on the head. Stay away from David's.

[amber]

Whatever you do DO NOT let other people convince you something is the perfect dress when you aren't "feeling it". (Trust me).

The Jessica McClintock recommendation is great - they usually have a lot of fairly simple dresses at much more reasonable prices. Lindsey's dress was from there and since it was a discontinued style she got it for about $100!

I like the Chinese dress by the way. You could totally pull it off.

If I could do it over, I think I would try to find find a white or ivory formal dress that I love at a deparment store (I saw one at Macy's once that I thought would have made a classy, simple wedding dress).

[Kira]

i saw some nice dresses in the jcrew catalogue but i don't know what your budget is.
some of the bridesmaids dress on the jcrew site would make good bridal dresses.
i got mine very inexpensively and it was what you would call an off white "simple sheath". sleeveless backless thing, no cleavage showing at all. kind of audrey hepburn. got it in atlanta though, so no help there!

[karenology]

When it boils down to it, it is your wedding day (well, and J's). Wear the Chinese dress if that makes you feel comfortable and beautiful.

[Judy]

Hi,I hardly recommend this site for the wedding dress.www.goodorient.com.They sell oriental wedding dress and some western wedding dress.Actually,I like to use some oriental dress to match with my boots,or my suits.Maybe you can try in your wedding? Just a suggestion.