PhiLLy RoLL

Not Rolling Over Yet

Although we do appreciate the simplicity of a baby who doesn't roll over yet, we do want him to be able to explore his surroundings more. So we keep trying to give him opportunities, encouragement, and enticement to roll over.

First, the enticement - toys!

He makes a struggling attempt:

But, he just flips back over:

Another Bulleted List

Sorry for the bulleted updates lately, but they are so quick and easy.

• The cats are friendly again. I don't know what changed, but it's not anything we did unless just keeping them separated for a few days was enough for their animosity towards each other to wane. Last night they cleaned each others' faces, which turned into play, and this morning they romped around the house as usual after their morning food. So I guess we'll be keeping Koji. For now.
• This morning I was eating a bagel and watching tv while nursing Lucas. I noticed he'd stopped nursing, so I looked down and he was looking up at me with huge eyes and a smile. He seemed fascinated by my eating and wouldn't go back to nursing until I'd finished. He smiled huge every time I took a bite of the bagel and chewed it, and I really wasn't hamming it up in the least. He just seemed to find my eating to be fascinating. Meanwhile, I'm thinking, if you only knew how normal it is to eat the way I do and how bizarre it is to eat the way you do. :)
• We need to buy a stroller. Now that Lucas is 14 pounds (according to our scale at home), I'm getting tired carrying him everywhere in 90 degree heat and then also carrying a big diaper bag and whatever other bags I happen to pick up along the way (e.g., grocery shopping). I've gotten advice on strollers from two people so far and it's completely contradictory. One person recommended a $50 Chicco stroller and the other recommended a $700 Bugaboo stroller! I really want to get the "perfect" stroller because I expect to be using it almost every day when the weather is nice (and hopefully it will be so perfect that I can use it when the weather isn't nice), but I don't know how to assess what would make a stroller perfect for me. And we'd really like to spend less than $700! Basically, I want something to use everywhere - going on walks around the neighborhood just to get out of the house or to go short distances, going for longer walks (maybe even runs?) for exercise, going to a restaurant or shopping where (for now) Lucas would (hopefully) be happy to sit/sleep in the stroller, going out to run errands in small city grocery stores, and traveling by plane or car and using at our destination for sightseeing. I haven't managed to read through the reviews on all the strollers at Babies R Us, but right now this red Joovy stroller is calling out to me - all of the reviews are glowing. However, if any parents who read my blog have any advice to offer, I'm all ears!
• I'm learning (and re-learning all the time) that if I want to work at home, I have to avoid Lucas and J. If they are in the office / nursery, then I have to move to the living room. And if they come out to the living room, then I have to go back to my desk. (Good thing I have a laptop.) And if they're all over the apartment, then I need to leave! I don't like to go to the office on the weekends (my work days include Saturday and Sunday) because it's a hot 15 minute walk and then I end up in a depressing office all by myself, so yesterday I went to The Good Karma Cafe. At first I tried to sit outside, but I discovered that even when shaded by an umbrella it was still too bright for me to be able to see anything on my laptop. So then I moved inside where every single table except one was occupied by someone with a laptop. I sat down and had lunch and did some work until my laptop battery ran out (about 2 1/2 hours). It felt so great to be close to home, but yet not to be at home! I was really able to focus on what I was doing, so I actually got some work done.
• I am reviewing abstracts for a conference and I'm finding it quite fun. I really enjoying hearing about different people's research, especially in such a quick and succinct way! Sometimes it's relevant to my own research and gets me excited by giving me ideas about future directions I might take. Also, it makes me feel like a part of something that my opinion matters. However, just because I'm enjoying the process doesn't mean I'm giving everyone high marks. I'm trying to find the good and the bad and to offer praise where warranted, as well as give some feedback and/or constructive criticism. Except for one terrible abstract that I can't even believe someone submitted. The abstract was basically this: "Many phenomena suggest X, which suggests Y. I present a model which captures this phenomena and show how it has implications for debates in this field. In particular, I show how it explains previously contradictory evidence in the field. I will also talk about its implications for the really broad issues in the field." Although I've taken out the details of what X, Y, and "the field" stand for, this is pretty much the abstract that was submitted. There were no citations, no details, no clear question, no summary of how the model works or even what it's really supposed to do, and certainly no evidence that the research project actually even exists. So that's pretty much what I said in my comments to the author(s).

A Vacation, A Conference, and yes, More Baby Stuff

• This past weekend we went to visit J's family. Lucas had a fantastic time!! In fact, I think he's bored now that he's home and only has me and J to entertain him and his same old crib and everyday playthings. Poor kid. :)
• Lucas was a huge hit with everyone he met - and he met a lot of people. Whenever anyone smiles at him, his face lights up in a huge smile. It's really endearing.
• We heard Lucas' first laugh this weekend! It was elicited by a nurse in a doctor's office, but both J and I were there to hear it. It was so genuine and happy-sounding that J and I both got choked up. Since then we've only heard a couple heh-heh's, but we're eagerly waiting for him to really bust out.
• With J's parents, we wandered around a campground where there are peacocks. I guess they're a "common" sight in the area, but to me it is bizarre to see these fabulous birds walking around.
  
• Lucas is finally taking naps. In fact, I would say that at this point he's a pretty good sleeper! For the first three months, we really couldn't get him to nap. He would sleep all night (and yes, I know how lucky we are), but during the day we couldn't get him to nap for more than 10-15 minutes at a time unless he was being carried around the city in the Baby Bjorn. (Maybe he had a secret agenda to get his mommy in better shape!) A couple of weeks ago he started waking up once in the middle of the night, but now he seems to be back to sleeping for a nice long period - often eight hours in a row!! So in the past month we made it our goal to get him to sleep more. We figured that first we would do whatever it takes to get him to sleep at a couple of regular times during the day, to get him used to a routine. We discovered that he falls asleep best once in the early morning (after the second nursing, which is usually around 7 am) and once in the late afternoon (around 4 pm) - both times he'll nap anywhere from 1 to 3 hours. Although the way we get him to sleep is for me to nurse him in bed, I'm now able to walk away even if he opens his eyes and watches me leave - he just shuts his eyes again. If he wakes up within 10-20 minutes of going to sleep, I can often walk in and although he's got his eyes open, if I stick a pacifier in his mouth, he closes his eyes again and goes back to sleep. These naps mean a happier baby when he's awake and happier parents because we actually get a bit of a break now! (Of course, I only get a break if I don't fall asleep with Lucas, which is what I sometimes do in the mornings.)
• I didn't bring my breastpump with me on the trip to visit J's family, but I did bring some formula in case we needed to make bottles. We gave him one bottle on the way from the airport to their house because it's a long drive and I can't exactly feed him while he's in the car seat, and then we also gave him a couple of ounces the next day when I accidentally bonked his head on the car door frame as I was trying to get him into his car seat (oops). But for the next four days we didn't give him any more bottles. He wanted to be fed about every two hours, but we never needed to resort to a bottle! I'd say that counts as exclusively breastfeeding!
• Our cats have been fighting on and off since a few days before Lucas was born. When it started, I thought it was really horrible timing. But we also considered the possibility that maybe they sensed something different in me. Maybe there are some about-to-go-into-labor pheromones. :) (If only Ianqui had a cat, then she would know when Yo would finally be really to come out!) Since then the cats have been on-and-off again fighting and last night J and I actually had a serious talk about getting rid of one of the cats (Koji because he's usually the chaser). It really, really stresses me out to have the all-out yowling and hissing cat fights. It's partly because the fights are so intense that it's possible that the cats will hurt one another. And, of course, it's also partly because I am worried about Lucas. I was willing to keep waiting to see if they would eventually settle down, but it's been four months and we still have days and nights when we have to keep them separated. We think that the reason they are fighting is that they aren't sure about the hierarchy in the house now that there is a new creature who gets nearly all of our attention. So maybe they are trying to understand and/or re-establish a hierarchy. Or it could be that they are realy uneasy and are taking it out on each other. Whatever the reason, though, I just wish they could resolve it. I really don't want to give up a cat.
• Today I "chaired" a session at a conference. It sounded easy when I agreed to do it - I would only have to introduce the speakers and then hold up time cards during the talks. But it turned out to involve so much attention to the clock that I hardly heard the talks - each talk was 25 minutes and I was supposed to hold up warnings for 10, 5, and 2 minutes remaining as well as a "stop" card, and then there was a 10 minute talk by a discussant, and then a 5 minute reply by the speaker, and then about 10 minutes of questions from the audience. And academics like to finish their point, so they often just go ahead and ignore the time keeper. And of course I don't have a watch and there was no clock, so I had to keep checking my phone for the time. It was also my job to call on people in the audience during the question period, and although many of them are probably well known to each other, I didn't recognize any of them except my two bosses and a professor from my grad school (who was in a different department than mine, but he recognized me from having come to my dissertation presentation). Some of the speakers at this conference are names I know but who I'd never seen in person before and I really didn't want to offend anyone by not knowing who they were or not calling on someone who might be really important to the discussion at hand.
• Before the talks began, one of the discussants came up to me and said, "you know, my mother-in-law had the same name as you" (my first name and my maiden name). It was really surprising because my name isn't particularly common and I've only found one other person with my name when I Google it and she's a deceased artist. Well, it turns out that his mother-in-law was that deceased artist. What a weird coincidence.
• Someone in the audience brought her very young baby. This baby made one or two tiny coos from the back of the room and my body almost fell apart with missing Lucas. It was all I could do to get my attention focused back on the talk instead of feeling near tears because I ached for my baby.

Gone Fishing

This $8 fish mobile from Ikea has really been Lucas' favorite toy. It might be the bright colors and all those gigantic eyes staring down at him, or it might be that it hangs low to his face because the mobile arm we bought for it is fairly short. We loved it when he learned that he could hit the fish with his fists (this happened after several days of happening to hit the fish by accident as he flailed around). From that point on, he would lie underneath it raising his arms up in the air and then carefully aiming and swinging at various fish.

We've been waiting for Lucas to accidentally grab one of the fish, which we figured would be cute, but might also signal the end of the mobile for him if it looked like it could come down on him. Today he grabbed the red fish and I actually caught the moment on video because I'd just set up the webcam at the top of the mobile. Now if I could just as fortuituously catch his first giggle, first words, his first steps ...

(If you're viewing this post in a feed reader or email, you'll have to go to the blog to see the video.)

I Actually Said This

It's Saturday night and I've just put the baby to sleep.

Me (feeling gleeful about the potentially free evening ahead of me):

"Ooh, next thing I'm going to do is enter subject data and eat ice cream!"

[Pause]

Me (rethinking the unabashed hope I'd just experienced):

"No, I shouldn't plan that because Lucas could wake up. I might spend the rest of the night feeding him and then getting him back to sleep."

J (reasonably):

"Just think of it as an "if" plan. You might get to do those things if Lucas continues to sleep."

And so that's what it is - an "if" plan. But it's one that looks like it's going to work out. I've just eaten some ice cream. And now I'm off to enjoy the rest of my wild and crazy Saturday night - data entry!

Pregnant!

No, not again. :)

It's just that I meant to post this picture, oh about four months ago. Finally getting around to it now.

This was taken on February 9th, so I was almost exactly 8 months pregnant. Thanks for Chiaroscuro for taking my pregnancy pictures!

Back to the present, here is a picture of Lucas playing with the fish mobile. I can't believe he's still entertained by this, but he really is. Today he was practically cavorting with joy.

And now, I really must go to bed. It's almost 12:30 am and I've been up processing pictures for an hour and a half. Lucas is alseep (after over an hour of trying to get him to sleep) and I think I was a bit drunk on the freedom.

Oh! But before I go, there's an actual reason I should be drunk! Or well, hm, maybe just celebratory, you know, considering I am still breastfeeding Lucas, and although I'll bet he would have gone right to sleep if I had tipped back a few beers tonight, I still err on the side of caution with him. Only one beer tonight.

Anyway, the reason - my bosses got the funding they applied for, which means - I get to keep my job! I mean, I was literally on the verge of getting cut off. But my boss called me at home today to tell me, and I have been elated ever since.

(I've been so stressed out about this that when my lab manager IM'd me to tell me that my boss was about to call me, but then she wouldn't tell me why he was calling, I got all freaked out and imagined he must be calling about something bad. I didn't know what I might have done, but I immediately starting thinking of all the ways I might have messed up badly enough that he needed to call me at home. Fortunately, he called right away so I didn't have time to fret about it for too long. I answered tentatively, feeling a little weird about knowing that he was going to call and it must have been obvious because he asked if I was ok. Sure, I said, as breezily as I could. And then he told me the news, and I felt like the biggest idiot for assuming the worst. Well, then I got all giddy, and I've had this weird half-smile on my face ever since.)

Anyway, now I really must go to bed. Lucas has started waking up around 5 am and this morning he was too awake and joyful with life to go back to sleep after that (it was very cute), so I'd better prepare myself for an early morning.

It's All in the Eyes

Earlier this week I brought Lucas in to work. It was my day to stay home with him, but there were some things I needed to do at the office and they seemed like things that I could do with a baby in my arms. It turned out I was even able to put him down for almost an hour, so it worked out even better than I'd hoped. Lucas is not one of those babies who actually enjoys sitting in a swing or bouncy seat or even in your lap, so unless he's sleeping or playing with his mobile, he needs to be held while standing up and/or walking around. Sigh. But that day, conveniently, he did enjoy lying on the ground on the contoured changing pad that I borrowed from the baby lab next door, looking up at me as I used the big paper cutter. I guess I shouldn't prejudge what he will or won't find entertaining!

While we had Lucas in the lab, for fun we decided to try an eye tracking "experiment" on him. It used to be hard to do eye tracking experiments on young children because they required the subject to wear head gear and sit absolutely still. But our lab has a fancy schmancy eye tracker which doesn't require any head gear - all the subject has to do is look at the computer screen. (There are built in infrared lasers around the screen that are used to calibrate the direction of eye gaze.)

So I held Lucas in front of the screen (yes, while standing, because sitting down is so apparently tortuous for him) and we showed him a face recognition experiment. It wasn't run "correctly" since Lucas can't read instructions or press Yes or No to indicate whether he recognizes the faces, but we did record what he was looking at as the various faces were displayed on the screen. The blue lines move around in accordance with where he was looking and dots form when his eye gaze lingers in one place for a little while. By the end you can see that he's not really looking - probably because I was worried he was getting fussy so I let him suck on one of my fingers, and I think I ended up distracting him too much. Anyway, it's pretty cute and now I want to devise real experiments for him. :)