PhiLLy RoLL

Gender and some FAQ

Okay, I'm not going to keep messing around with trying to edit our ultrasound video, which is somewhat blurry, long, and probably uninteresting to the rest of the world.

But I will tell you the sex of the baby.

It's a boy!

I'm really excited about that, even though honestly I would have been just as excited to find out it's a girl. I just feel like it makes this baby more of a growing person and less of an "it".

So now people are starting to ask us what we are going to name the baby, what color theme we plan for the nursery, etc. Well, previously they were asking whether I plan to breastfeed and how much weight I've gained, so I guess these are less personal questions now. :)

To answer these questions:

• A name: We really don't know yet. But last week we sat around with my extended family for about an hour and a half straight going over potential names. Even my younger cousins (11 and 7) participated the whole time, and eventually got out paper and started writing up lists for us! The only oddball name the youngest threw in there was "Soybean" (for some reason, she had resorted to looking at a list of ingredients for inspiration), but the rest were all good reasonable names. So to you all, please feel free to offer suggestions! But don't be offended if I don't actually respond to the names you come up with. I am a little burnt out from the name generation session because I felt like we had to respond to every single suggestion with either a decision to write it on the growing list or come up with new and polite ways to reject it.
• A color theme: No idea. Well, we probably won't go with pinks. But other than that, I have no idea. Maybe leaning towards pastels rather than primary colors?
• Breastfeeding: I have to say, I'm a little uncomfortable with this question. I mean, if I say yes (and I do plan to try), then people say things like "oh good, that's best for the baby." But what if I were to say no, then what would they say or be thinking? For one thing, I will be going back to work, not staying at home for months on end, so that introduces some logistical issues. (I'm not saying they are insurmountable issues, just that there are issues.) Furthermore, my understanding is that sometimes it's just hard to breastfeed and I don't want to be judged for whatever decision ends up being right for us. I guess people are expecting that I'll say yes, I plan to breastfeed, and then they can respond knowingly about how it's best for the baby. But if in the end I end up not breastfeeding, I really don't feel like I should have to explain my choice to people. My solution, for now, is just to say that yes, I plan to breastfeed, and I leave it at that.
• Weight Gain: You probably think I'm kidding when I tell you that people ask about this, but I'm not. I guess they think that weight gain in pregnancy is natural and a good thing and I will be just as happy to talk about this aspect of my growing body as I am to discuss the growing baby. But guess what, I'm not comfortable with this question either! At first I was gaining a pound a week, which is apparently normal, so I didn't really mind telling people (after I got over the initial shock of the question and refrained from asking them whether they were gaining weight). But in the past week I spent several days at home and ate very well and slept a lot, and gained three extra pounds. Wouldn't that be normal if I weren't pregnant? I don't even know for sure because I don't usually weigh myself that often to notice ups and downs like that. But of course, now I get weighed all the time (once a month). When I asked my doctor about whether this amount was too much, she said, yeah, maybe you should slow it down a little. But really, this is over an extra three pounds more than I should have gained this month! So in spite of her response, I've decided not to worry about it. I'll pay attention to what I eat in case I suddenly go on an eating binge, but recently my cravings have been for fruits, so really, I'm not going to obsess about it. Anyway, I just don't feel like I should have to disclose my weight to whoever asks just because I am pregnant. I think from now on I'm just going to say that of course I'm gaining weight but that I'm not worrying too much about the numbers because I'm within the normal range.

Also, I really need to take a new belly shot. I'm definitely looking more pregnant now at 5 1/2 months than I did at four months.

Updated to add: If a close family member or friend reads this and thinks, hey I asked her about breastfeeding or weight, let me just say now that I am not talking about you. (Particularly JCM - we're supposed to talk about breastfeeding! Same goes for family this past week, and especially since I was asking about it.) I'm talking about acquaintances.

Also, the first two points, about names and a color theme - those aren't complaints! Those are legitimate questions we have gotten, so I was trying to answer them.

Vintage Philadelphia

Tonight my husband was going through stacks of old and unopened mail that had accumulated on his desk. He noticed two issues of Lifestyle magazine (Life. Refined. Philadelphia) which were sent in his name and joked in a snooty voice someone had obviously noticed how refined he is. He glanced through a few pages of ads for condos and other things that we are in no way in a position to consider at this point in our lives and then turned to throw it out.

I asked if I could see it, thinking maybe, just maybe I might find one of my own stock photos of Philadelphia in it - maybe a skyline shot in an ad about city living or something. And on page 72 I found one! It's a picture of Philadelphia, taken from the fourth floor fire escape of our building, used to illustrate "A little piece of Paris just off of South Street."

(Click the image to enlarge.)

Autumn

It's finally autumn in Philly, though the colors this year are pretty drab. There are a few trees here and there with some red and orange, and if I carried my camera with me more often I probably could have gotten a few pictures of them. But for the most part, the leaves are either turning yellow or just going straight to some hue of brown.

I went out with my camera this afternoon and this is the best I could come back with. But it was overcast and drizzling, so maybe this isn't quite so bad.

Taking pictures was only one of the reasons I made a trip outside today. I also needed to go to the grocery store to pick up some wet cat food since we've been out for the past two days. We've always fed the cats a little bit of wet food in the morning (they each get half of one of those tiny Fancy Feast cans) and they love it with all their hearts. But as much as they love the food, I think they also need the routine.

This morning, although I'd set the alarm, I didn't really intend to actually get up when it went off. But Tako didn't know that so he jumped on the bed and patted at my arms, and actually stuck one paw under my arm and pulled, as if he could tug me out of bed to give him some food. I just ignored him, knowing that any response I gave him would be too encouraging if I actually wanted to keep sleeping.

Eventually I got up and had to figure out what to give them to eat, since otherwise they would be all over me thinking I'd simply forgotten to feed them. Fortunately, they are so attached to this routine that as long as I put something out for them, they are satisfied. Yesterday morning I gave them some different dry food than what I normally give them, hoping they would think it was a special treat. They just sniffed at it and walked away, not fooled at all. But they stopped asking for food, so they were convinced that breakfast had indeed happened.

This morning I decided to give them some plain yogurt. Koji did what he usually does with surprising food - he stuck his (probably dirty) paw in it and licked it off his paw. Then they both licked at it a little, but left most of it behind in their bowls. But as usual, it did the trick and they decided they'd had breakfast and moved on to their rest of their days: chase each other around the apartment and then sleep for hours.

This afternoon I felt badly about their unsatisfying breakfasts and I figured it wouldn't kill me to get out of the house to go get them some more food. So I paired it with a walk around my neighborhood with my camera, and ended up with a few photos to post here and a few for my photoblog, so my work for the week is done!

Next up, I might, if I feel like it, tell you the sex of our baby. :) I'm considering putting up the video we took at our last ultrasound appointment, but so far I've been having technical (compatibility) issues.

Wake Up

My friend Chiaroscuro sent me this hilarious video. This is what Tako does every morning (while Koji sits around the room chewing loudly on random things that he knows will bother me). (I recommend watching it with the sound on.)

This morning I woke up when J called me from the airport (after a red-eye flight from California), so the cats thought I was getting up. I did get up to go pick him up actually, but in the end J decided to take the train home and I went back to bed. (Crying because I was so tired, but that's another story.) I didn't feed the cats when I'd been up, but when I tried to go back to bed they wouldn't let me sleep. Fortunately for them I realized that I was starving, so I got up and fed them and also got myself a bowl of Grape Nuts.

When I got back into bed, Tako was a changed and more lovable cat, instantly crawling under the covers with me and kneeding and purring. He quickly settled down in my arms with his back against my chest and his head on my upper arm, and he leaned his head back against my face for kisses. He was so happy and then ... the doorbell rang. J was home.

Unfortunately, Tako still hasn't grown to be as enamored with J as I am, so he bolted off the bed and ran and hid somewhere. J crawled right into bed with me and fell asleep (moments after he'd been telling me that he was perfectly fine and awake and maybe he should just go to work), and Tako relegated himself to the foot of the bed, no doubt grumbling internally about J's return. I guess that's the end of Tako cuddling in the big scary living room (at least, it is scary when J is around - he'll never come in and relax in my lap in that room unless J isn't home). But a bonus for Tako - J is going away for almost a week again for another conference in about a week. After that, J will be home whenever I am and then... a baby. I'm sure that will go over well.

Conference Travel

I can't believe it's only 8:30 (as I start to type this). If it were 9:30 (as it would have been if this were only yesterday), then I wouldn't feel quite so silly about going to bed. But if I go to bed at 8:30, I'll be getting up at 4:30 or something! I'm going to try to push it at least another half an hour, I think, and then if I'm still as tired, I'm just going to call it a night.

The reason I'm so tired (oh right, I'm pregnant) is because I was at a conference this weekend. J and I went up to Wellesley, MA last weekend. J had a workshop there and I decided to crash his hotel room since I had a conference in Boston starting on Thursday.

On Wednesday night, while J was at his workshop dinner, I went out for Indian with my sister and her (new) husband. On Thursday I went to an afternoon of talks at my conference and then met up with my sister again for dinner (Italian in Boston's North End).

By Friday afternoon, J was done with his workshop, but Friday was the first "real" day of my conference and I went to many, many talks. That afternoon, while I was at the conference, J moved our stuff from the Wellesley hotel to our friend's apartment in Somerville and that night we had plans to meet up with several people. I stubbornly held my pregnant ground that we would not have to travel far so that I could just get up and leave whenever I got tired, and so everyone met at a place that was just a few blocks away from where we were staying. The great part about the night was that I got to see lots of friends who I haven't seen in forever, including Eliaday. The hard part about the night is that I was enjoying hanging out with people so much that I pushed through until I was really exhausted. By the very end of the night (12:30 am!), I don't think I was being terribly social and all I really remember saying is that I was so, so tired. (A great way to make my friends feel like I want to hang out with them!)

I decided to sleep in on Saturday and miss the morning talks because I knew I would be too tired to appreciate them anyway. Plus, on Saturday night there is a cocktail "hour" that I am invited to every year and I knew I would be out until at least 10 pm (it turned out to be 11 pm). By that point, J was supposed to be on a plane heading to San Diego for another conference, but the storms caused his flight to be cancelled, so I got to keep him in Boston for one more night. Too bad I was at this cocktail party for practically the entire night. :(

So I wasn't tired the whole time - just mainly by the end of each night, and now that I am home I am realizing that I am very tired. Mostly, I was just hungry the whole time. It's not that I didn't have time for meals - it was just that those meals didn't seem to hold me for the sessions of three half hour talks. Fortunately, I brought a few bags of roasted pumpkin seeds with me, so I munched on those throughout the day, along with conference cookies and a couple yogurts I bought from the cafeteria downstairs.

This morning I didn't have to do anything except get up and get myself to the airport and then get myself home to my apartment. (J finally made it to San Diego today.) It all worked smoothly, but I'm tired nonetheless. I don't think it's lack of sleep though. I think it's just having to be on all day, for a couple of long days in a row.

I ordered some Thai food tonight because our usual less-expensive Chinese or pizza places just didn't sound appealing, and I don't have much food at home to work with if I were to cook something myself. So I decided to order Thai and consider it both lunch and dinner for today for both me and the baby. And in the end, I have enough left over for lunch or dinner tomorrow, so I think it turned out to be a good (and yummy) investment! I ate my food while going through the past few days of email and cuddled with both kitties (who were very happy to have me home after a few days of being by themselves).

After eating, I noticed the heat still hadn't come on, even though I moved the switch on the thermostat. Hm. So now I am using my space (electric) heater (probably more efficient and cost-effective anyway), and typing on my laptop while sitting under the covers in bed. It's probably not really that cold out, but I always think that our apartment is cold.

Yay, I see that the clock has turned to 9:00. I'm off to call J to say good night, and then I will head to bed. (Funny, he's probably just heading out to dinner.)